Tuesday, March 4, 2014

IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT BUT MINE

If I got hungry because I didn't have breakfast because I need to cram.
If I haven't finished reading because I spent too time on the internet.
If I didn't get that exemption on that freakin subject when everybody did.
If I fail to prepare for a quiz or recitation on a subject.

It's not that I'm not getting my head in the game
It's just that, I have too much distractions in my mind
There's watching movies, reading manga, clubbing every night and the like
And most of the time, I my mind is just preoccupied with food

So what happens now that I'm feeling that impending doom?
I pray to God that I made every right guess on the exam.
I ask the professors for bonuses and lower mean grade.
I wish to get more than I bargained for

I guess if I fail, it's nobody's fault but mine
So here comes the part where I rethink about what I have done
The part where guilt because I didn't exert enough effort to study
The part where anger is the only thing felt towards the professors

The professors did their job and I know it, but it's just me.
I come late to class even if I'm staying at a dormitory
And when I reach class, it's either I'm sleeping or playing on my tab
Rarely will you see me listening to the professor

I can't blame them for having that monotone voice
Or having that wordy and picture-less powerpoint
It's just me, I can't seem to be interested in what they're saying
And I end up on facebook, twitter, tumblr or any social media

I can't blame anyone. It's all on me.
And I can't tell my parents that I haven't been attending class
nor listening to every word from the lecturers
Lecturers provided more than enough

So I resort to every means I can think of
I tell my parents the professors don't give me good grades
I spend all night trying to perfect a mini note so I can cheat
I sleep and then wish for the best, even if I don't deserve it.

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