TIDBITS ON TODDLERS: The Art of the Tantrum

As a doctor, I know that a tantrum is one of the signs that a child is developing progressively. As a first time, I am panicking and internally crying as I watch the tantrum unfolds. They are not a bad behavior, it is actually a loss of emotional control of not getting their own way. It is because they are frustrated, angry, tired or hungry etc and they can't convey their feelings properly. In our case, my son just wanted to lay down on the cold hard floor while having his dinner. Andami ko na naisip na pwede mangyari, paano kung mabulunan siya or kainin niya yung malalaglag sa sahig na pagkain o kaya ay iumpog niya yung ulo niya sa sahig. And of course, I didn't allow him to have his dinner while laying down on the floor.

As a child, if we have tantrums or meltdowns, we would be told to shut up or stop the tantrum. Tumigil ka jan! Kapag di ka tumigil, ikukulong kita sa CR! And it might seem harsh, but I think I did stop crying that time. I actually still see this with my parents on how they handle a tantrum of my nephew. Same with what I have experienced as a child. So what I did was hugged my son tightly and talked non-stop on stopping the tantrum. It breaks my heart seeing him cry but I guess, I still have a lot to learn as a mother.

As a doctor & as a first time mother, here things to remember during a tantrum:
1. Ignore the tantrum. There is a proper way to do this, don't go into your phones or watch TV or have a conversation with someone while they are having the tantrum. If you engage, they feel like they won. Hence, they might possibly repeat the behavior in order to get what they want.

2. Stay calm. As a parent, this will be hard because you will have to watch your child try to regulate their feelings while you try to regulate your own.

3. Don't try to stop the tantrum. Just let them feel these feelings as long as they are in a safe environment (ex. they won't jump from the stairs, pick-up something sharp, run into a road).

4. Don't walk away from them. Just sit nearby, don't look at them or even acknowledge the behavior.

5. When the tantrum is done (believe me, they will stop on their own), you redirect them. ask in a very soft voice "Are you done?" Then ask for another task, "Do you wanna read a book?" Or "Do you wanna go outside?" 

In other words, the tantrum is done and you snap them out from that episode. It's like you're telling them that you both need to get to the next chapter of the book after that plot. You just ignore the crazy and reward the calm. I need to remember these as I am typing them. May the odds be in our favor!

Anyway, studies have shown that "The Happy Song" by Imogen Heap scientifically makes you happy. You can goggle it up if you don't take my word for it. Let me know if you have any toddler hacks!