TIDBITS ON TODDLERS: The Art of the Tantrum

As a doctor, I know that a tantrum is one of the signs that a child is developing progressively. As a first time, I am panicking and internally crying as I watch the tantrum unfolds. They are not a bad behavior, it is actually a loss of emotional control of not getting their own way. It is because they are frustrated, angry, tired or hungry etc and they can't convey their feelings properly. In our case, my son just wanted to lay down on the cold hard floor while having his dinner. Andami ko na naisip na pwede mangyari, paano kung mabulunan siya or kainin niya yung malalaglag sa sahig na pagkain o kaya ay iumpog niya yung ulo niya sa sahig. And of course, I didn't allow him to have his dinner while laying down on the floor.

As a child, if we have tantrums or meltdowns, we would be told to shut up or stop the tantrum. Tumigil ka jan! Kapag di ka tumigil, ikukulong kita sa CR! And it might seem harsh, but I think I did stop crying that time. I actually still see this with my parents on how they handle a tantrum of my nephew. Same with what I have experienced as a child. So what I did was hugged my son tightly and talked non-stop on stopping the tantrum. It breaks my heart seeing him cry but I guess, I still have a lot to learn as a mother.

As a doctor & as a first time mother, here things to remember during a tantrum:
1. Ignore the tantrum. There is a proper way to do this, don't go into your phones or watch TV or have a conversation with someone while they are having the tantrum. If you engage, they feel like they won. Hence, they might possibly repeat the behavior in order to get what they want.

2. Stay calm. As a parent, this will be hard because you will have to watch your child try to regulate their feelings while you try to regulate your own.

3. Don't try to stop the tantrum. Just let them feel these feelings as long as they are in a safe environment (ex. they won't jump from the stairs, pick-up something sharp, run into a road).

4. Don't walk away from them. Just sit nearby, don't look at them or even acknowledge the behavior.

5. When the tantrum is done (believe me, they will stop on their own), you redirect them. ask in a very soft voice "Are you done?" Then ask for another task, "Do you wanna read a book?" Or "Do you wanna go outside?" 

In other words, the tantrum is done and you snap them out from that episode. It's like you're telling them that you both need to get to the next chapter of the book after that plot. You just ignore the crazy and reward the calm. I need to remember these as I am typing them. May the odds be in our favor!

Anyway, studies have shown that "The Happy Song" by Imogen Heap scientifically makes you happy. You can goggle it up if you don't take my word for it. Let me know if you have any toddler hacks!

HEALING THROUGH REFLECTION

     Hi. This is the first time I would be blogging again. Actually, I cannot remember how to do this anymore but I always find it comforting to write about a lot of things. So what's currently happening in my life.

1. I got married to the love of my life last January 2, 2020

2. We had Avery last March 3, 2023

3. Became a Diplomate in Lifestyle Medicine last December 2023

4. Started teaching as an Associate Professor in Cavite State University College of Medicine in Indang, Cavite.

5. We get to experience concert of Twice and Coldplay last 2024

6. Avery started Montessori school every Saturday last July 2025.

7. We got a dishwasher!  

    So far, life has been uneventful besides the ones I have stated above. But significant events have tested my whole being. Grief, anger, despair. 

1. Lost my Marco last April 1,2019. Fvcking April Fool's right? Cried to sleep. Even went to work while bawling my eyes out because "kulang ng magduty, kelan ka babalik?" And I was like, can you not see I'm grieving?

2. Got in a huge fight with dad last December 2022. I remember ready to throw arms while being 7 months pregnant.

3. Went into emergency C-section due to dystocia. Double cord coil documented.

4. Lost Strike last June 27, 2024.

5. My maternal aunt was diagnosed with Dementia-type Alzheimer's Disease and I have a hunch that we all have that gene and it hasn't skipped a generation since my great grandmother.

6. My mother broke her right clavicle due to my nephew's aggressive play. I am fuming upon learning about this and as I recall this incident I still get filled with anger.

7. My good father-in-law is currently in Canada and is critical condition. We just learned that he had advance directives of DNR if ever the worst possible condition happens.

8. I still mourn about my brother's death up to this day to the point I'm having physical symptoms like chest pain while crying my heart out.

    So, that's basically it. I think writing about the good & the bad helps me heal what is broken. I mean, it is still broken but I as a parent, I try to navigate feelings because I wasn't able to do so. My husband has help me through this kind of stuff since for me, he is more emotionally matured.

    I don't know how to end a blog. But here's to consistent blogging for record purposes in case I manifest symptoms of Alzheimer's Disease.